24 Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. 25 Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. 26 And He said, “Let Me go, for the day breaks.”
But he said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!”
27 So He said to him, “What is your name?”
He said, “Jacob.”
28 And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel;[a] for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
29 Then Jacob asked, saying, “Tell me Your name, I pray.”
And He said, “Why is it that you ask about My name?” And He blessed him there.
30 So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel:[b] “For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.”
I’ve been wrestling with God, for some time. I’ve been asking myself, and God, hard questions.
Are you really good? Do you really have what’s best for me? Will you really keep your promises in times of desolation and despair? And when Jesus, will you make the pain that so many in the world endure, end?
I’ve been fighting with God. Over small things and big things. Over hope and destiny. Over my future and my past. Where were you, God?
So many people think that if you love God and you believe God you don’t doubt Him and you certainly never ask questions.
Well, I beg to differ.
If you truly love someone you’ll do all that you can to have them show you more. To fight them for more. To challenge them and let them challenge you.
If you truly love someone you’ll wrestle them until you’re convinced there’s no further intimacy.
I believe in God. I know He is good and I know He will give me only His best.
But I also know I don’t just believe that because I should. I believe it because I’ve asked hard questions and had hard times. I’ve struggled in having faith and seeing Him in situations.
But somehow, He’s always faithful to show up. He’s always faithful to redeem. To forgive. To love. To be my resting place. To by my Abba. To accept me just the way I am where I am.
In the midst of self obsession and brokeness.
That’s my Jesus. That He loves me so much He’ll accept me where I am and allow me to wrestle with Him…that He loves me so much He won’t let me stay the same.
Do you love God because of something someone told you, or because of obligation, because if you don’t it looks bad?
If you doubt God, question Him. Ask Him. Wrestle Him. He can handle it.
